Lafang

Kanina nagbabatuhan kami ng konting email ni Porkchop.  I just realized then, mahirap magpapayat sa industriyang ito.

Si P eh may sariling miniref sa office niya.  Nakakatamad daw maglakbay papunta sa kitchen nila sa office kaya naglagak na lang siya ng ref dun at pinuno ng kanyang private stash.  Although akala ko ng una di nagpo-provide ng snacks sa office nila.  She just can’t be bothered to tear herself away from work to scrounge around for some snack.

Meron ding kitchen sa Firm, as with most firms here (kahit boutique firms).  Coffee station, different types of soda and fizzy water fill one of the two fridges, snacks and quick breakfast items fill the cupboards, and a basket tray on the island near the dining tables are always filled with chips, chocolate, gum, candies, and snack bars.  May continental breakfast provided to all staff every first Friday of the month. Meetings with catered lunches eventually yield extra food which are laid out on the dining table.  Every so often, one of the partners would bring specialty cheese from a farm in Wisconsin – last week it was aged cheddar (chalap!).

So I ask you, pano ka papayat sa ganitong work place?????  Small firm pa lang yan ha?  Pano pa kaya if I worked in one of the firms listed in Vault’s top 100?

Yay! But…

And that… was my first week at the Firm, ladies and germs.  Not as a temp, but as a full-time, permanent member of staff.  Yes Chicago, may trabaho na ako.  Medyo weirded out ako na di ako super ecstatic about this good fortune, but I finally accepted the fact that it has largely to do with my ego.  Kasi, after nearly a decade of working in Manila, I’m starting another career here, and starting it at the bottom of the totem pole.  Kinda blows, but I really am thankful for paid work.  Slightly higher than my temp gig of course, so okay na rin.  What’s not okay, is B losing a gig.  So really, our financial status is not that different when I was jobless.  Hay… tama ba yun???

Reconnecting With Old “Friends”

It’s been a good few days.  I have been in the company of old friends lately – boy, do they know how to take your mind out of the dregs… I finally gave in and allowed myself to go to this specific area of the public library, and check out a few Harlequins - Penny Jordan, Anne Mather, Leigh Michaels… honestly, walang kakupas-kupas.

For the longest time, I thought I am over this genre.  They tided me over high school angst and became pretty much obsolete when I found my bebe.  Still, some innate coping mechanism must have activated at the back of my mind and egged me to go to the romance novels section to reconnect with these trusty ladies.  I sure am glad I did.

It has been depressing lately what with the job-hunting still not bearing any fruit – but it sure helped bring up my spirits, losing myself again in the corny and predictable world of paperback romance.  I can’t even believe these books still have the power to elicit some mild waterworks from me!  :D  Pathetic, but I really don’t give a shit, right?!

From my first taste of the genre (Barbara Cartland, Sweet Dreams, Sweet Valley High series, Mills & Boon) to my senior year in high school (Judith McNaught, Iris Johansen, Jude Deveraux, Janet Dailey, Tami Hoag, Judith Krantz, Jayne Ann Krentz, Fern Michaels, LaVyrle Spencer, Nora Roberts, Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, and bits of Harlequin and Silhoutte thrown in), to today, I guess it’s safe to say, the starry-eyed, hopeless romantic in me, will never outgrow these ‘friends’.

Blecccch!

It was just a screening interview, mind, but in no way less nerve-wracking.  There isn’t even a position open yet – although they said there will be one soon.  I just hope it’s soon enough.

The other lead is a bit more temporary in nature, but still a very interesting addition to my resumé if ever.  So, fingers crossed, one of those offers comes through.

*****************************************************************************

I’m feeling a bit blah – probably due in part to my gastroenteritis.  Whatever.  I just hope I recover quickly.  I cannot even imagine having to go to a job interview with the trots.  Shit.  Literally.

Down. But Not Out.

F***ing depressed again.  I hate this.  What’s more, I hate being repetitive.  I’ve been in this situation before and I’ve written how it felt like absolute crap.  So, I’m not about to do that again. But…

Damn it.

Working On Finding Work

I am working, again, on my resumé.  I was already done with this exercise and came up with, what I thought was quite a decent product, so I printed off 30 copies and went to this mock job interview session.  But when I spoke with the headhunter, she suggested quite a few tweaks.  So here I am.  Tweaking.  By the way, that activity was well worth the train fare to school.  That was me, being more proactive on my job hunting.  Sure, I just wasted 30 pages of ink and paper (and somewhere out there, the trees are groaning in frustration), but I came out of it even more determined at improving my job-search arsenal.  (I guess it’s a good thing I did my printing at school, eh?)  :D

In my previous article, I wrote that I was supposed to be hired as a temp for a few weeks - three to be exact, but I finished doing my tasks too quickly – there was no more work left to be done.  I cannot help but wonder if there is actually some sense to what my mom and aunt told me.  Being a fast worker is to my detriment here.  Wala daw mapapala yun.  I only half-listened as my mom went on to explain why so I really didn’t get it.  Still, there’s this doubt niggling at the back of my mind. Why should my ability to get things done quickly be to my disadvantage?  How f***ed up is that?!  In the industry where I am focusing my job-hunting sights on, I should think that’s a huge deal.  Well, enough about that.  Headhunter says it’s a plus, so it’s a plus.

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Okay, so apparently it’s official – I lack confidence.  Duhr!

Is it not enough that it’s there on paper; that I know how to do all those things, and that I’ve done them for quite some time?  Evidently, I have to have the attitude to validate those claims!  Dang it.  You just can’t please some people.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  It’s a valid point.

I used to look askance at the self-help shelves in libraries/bookstores.  I would always think that tackling life should just be a matter of common sense.  But coming to terms with my inadequacies,  I cannot help but wonder, with so many things that f***cked me up as I was growing up, how do I pinpoint where to focus the healing process?  So as I write this, I find myself with a book from the “Dummies” series to my right, and two more self-help books in my library queue:

• “What’s holding you back? : 30 days to having the courage and confidence to do what you want, meet who you want, and go where you want, by Sam Horn.”
• “Job Interviews for Dummies”

And a third one I’m seriously debating with my wallet whether to buy or not:

• “Building Self-Confidence for Dummies”  –> If it’s not obvious by now, I’m quite partial to the Dummies series.

Even better, I think I’ll just wait for the next Amazon gift certificate and just get it for free.

Temp again

So instead of being able to enjoy a short break before getting myself back on the job-hunting bandwagon –> I got myself a gig!

Granted, it’s only for a few weeks, and I am actually torn between rejoicing and bawling, but in this economy? This is a friggin’ no brainer!!! You take what you can get, dang it!

So anyway, I opened my closet, and there it wasn’t – enough clothes to wear. I only bought a few tops and trousers to last me for the duration of the internship and now, I have to face my impending (oh-so-welcome) working life here.

Last Wednesday, B met me after work and we wandered off in the general direction of State street. After a quick snack and window shopping, we found ourselves inside Nordstrom Rack. We stayed there until nearly closing time and I knew, right there and then, that I will be buying tops from them soon. Mind you I came out without buying any tops.

Problem solved. Now, when to find the time… – I start this Monday, for crying out loud!

Calm Before The Storm

So I feel like this is the calm before the storm. I don’t really know why I’m blogging right now when I’ve got a gazillion things to finish – it being hell week and all. But I guess I ought to clear my head – like how Dumbledore would just touch his wand to his temple and siphon off his thoughts/memories (sa sobrang dami, I suppose!).

Just one more week and I’m off job-hunting again. Hopefully, with better prospects this time. Else, that student loan was a big waste.

In the meantime, I’m off to prepare the breakfast of champions – I don’t get why I’m not tired of it yet. But who cares?  (Yeah baby!  That’s my version of Chicago-style hotdog! Okay, the ketchup may be an abomination to some, and I do lack the sport peppers, the tomatoes, and the onions – but that’s why I call it my version, hmmmkay?)

Hungry for Bulalo

Inspired by that oft-cited episode of Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations, I bought shanks and veggies and made bulalo. (with matching sawsawan siyempre – patis with calamansi and siling labuyo)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So that leaves sisig na lang… san kayang lupalop dito sa Chicago makakakain ng masarap na sisig?

Tired. Pagod. Estoy Cansado.

I’m just so freakin’ tired today.  I slept on the train on the way home, for the first time ever.  Ganon ako kapagod.  Wala akong ginawa maghapon kundi mag-guillotine ng file folders at magsalansan ng mga dokumento sa mga kahon.  Lilipat kasi yung law firm na pinag-iinternan ko eh so nagliligpit paunti-unti.  Yun lang, tenkyu.  Just tired.  So tired, gademit!

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On a related matter, which are my tired feet, di hinayaan ng Diyos na makabili ako ng ballet flats.  Pinaalala muna Niya sa’kin bakit di ako bumibili ng flats ever.  So one day, I wore my flat lace-up shoes to work; in anticipation of more work done standing up.  Towards the end of the day, my feet were so painful I could barely muster enough strength to stand up, get off the train, and walk the one block home.  So there, enough looking at flat shoes.

General Whingeing

I used to look at ballet flats with disdain.  Till today.

Awhile ago, right before class, I found myself looking at black ballet flats for sale at Filene’s.  Being on your feet for 5 hours will make a convert out of anyone.  Seriously.  I started talking to this lady beside me and she too, was looking for nice-looking ballet flats.  We were both wearing heels by the way.  She said her doctor was making her wear flats.  I, on the other hand, didn’t know I’d be doing a lot of standing today.

Also, does prolonged exposure to copiers really cause infertility?  I’m not complaining about doing grunt work again, after all, I have to start somewhere.  Just some random worries, here and there. 

By the way?  Today?  Multiple, oh-so-many, paper cuts!!!!!!!

Amiss

The thing with being transplanted to another country, in your adult years, is that you’re so set in your ways and wants, that it’s pretty hard to get used to not having instant access whenever you have a hankering for something.  So even if we moved here only last 2006, I find, or rather, B and I find ourselves missing stuff… more accurately, food stuff.

Turon – na bagong luto; as in brown sugar ang ginamit (meron nga dito, di naman gumamit ng asukal!); with matching sliver of langka inside.

Squid balls – yung binebenta sa busy streets of Makati; usually bandang Paseo or Buendia, and sometimes, Ayala; kasi mas masarap yung sauce doon.

Siomai – sa Ma Mon Luk sa Quiapo; may sabaw siya, tapos you ask for calamansi at bahala ka nang paghaluin yung mga spices na nasa lamesa mo to make up your own timpla ng sabaw; it’s hot as an oven inside the eatery but the waiters always hover around with cold water to fill you up soon as.

Tokwa’t Baboy – the best ang tokwa’t baboy ng biyenan kong lalaki kaso sumalangit na ang kaluluwa niya; buti I got to taste my Auntie Tita’s tokwa’t baboy, chalap! kaso siyempre, like most of the stuff here, nasa Pilipinas din yun.

pekeng DVDs – kakarinig mo lang may kopya na sa Baclaran; siyempre the quality leaves a lot to be desired; eh ang mahal kaya manood ng sine no? ok lang naman ang Netflix kaso maghihintay ka pa ng official release dates; ok, I’m bad for supporting this.

Papaitan – nobody does it here!  well, at least, I haven’t found one yet.

Banana-cue – as with the Turon, bagong luto with our very own brown sugar at saba; di uso saba natin dito eh.

Bulalo – pamatay na kung pamatay ang cholesterol, pero you gotta love this simple, fantasticable soup with a hunk of bone marrow/meat on the side; sabaw pa lang, magkalimutan na tayo! kaya sulit pumunta ng Tagaytay para lang dito eh.

Sisig – hay! dalawa yung mas gusto ko ang lasa, yung sa Trellis, at yung sa Dencios. da best!

Gamot – na di na kailangan ng prescription; buti nga dumadami na ang OTC selection, pero antibiotics are still out of reach.

Deadly weapon – sarap sana maglagay ng strap sa binti ko, enough to hold a regulation jungle knife; gabi na ako madalas umuwi eh, mahirap na di ba? kaso strict ang batas dito about carrying deadly weapons, so itlog ka; sa Pilipinas dati nung pumapasok ako, palagi akong may dalang cutter sa bag (not the plastic, office variety, kundi yung heavy steel one).

Hmmm… yan pa lang naman, so far.  Pero pag may naiisip ka, dear reader, dagdag mo na lang

Antisocial

I am. Anyone who knows me, knows that. Matter of fact, goes the same for hubby. It’s not weird or bad antisocial, just plain don’t want to go out and socialize… as much as possible.

Like going to a bar after school, or work, with school or work people. Nope, not for me. I’d rather go home, take a bath, have dinner, and unwind. If I have to blow off steam, I’d rather tell all to my husband, because then, it needn’t spread around the office/school, right? Right. Btw, he does the same to me. O, di hindi ka pa nagkalat ng chismis devah? Mahirap nang mapulaan eh. *wink wink*

I don’t like going to parties as a rule, bihira mo ako mapapunta, and if I do, I don’t stay long.  But if ever I am going to host a party – as in, with matching may-nakatutok-na-baril-sa-sentido-ko pressure – it would probably be a Super Bowl party. First of all, food choices are a no-brainer. I mean, what’s to agonize about? With just chips and booze, you’re set. But since it’s my party, I’d probably have spicy chicken wings, not buffalo wings, spicy wings. As in you don’t need a dip. Next, I’d probably have fried calamari, and of course, pizza (cut into bite size portions), and let’s not forget the steak or the ribs!  I mean, come on!

Second, you do not have to start conversation, because all eyes are on the telly, and people will probably be too busy dissing the opposing team to care whether you spoke or not.

Third, dress code. What? There’s none. No need to hie off to the Mag Mile or State Street to shop for an outfit, in case you’ve run through most of the stuff in your closet.

But lastly, it’s the cleanup: with just plastic plates and cups, and a big trash bag on every corner of the house, you’re golden! The stuff you used to serve all those deliciously simple finger foods, well you can just chuck them in the dishwasher, or let them soak in hot soapy water, in your sink, and cleaning’s a breeze.

Still, no gun in the world will do the trick if the Giants are not playing. I mean, what’s the point?!

Wicked Winter

Last Tuesday was the harshest winter day I have ever experienced.  Probably because last 2 years, I had the luxury of getting to stay indoors in inclement weather.  We had a high temperature of -2°F and to the rest of the world who use the Celsius scale (ewan ko ba dito sa Amerika eh, kailangan talagang maiba) that is equivalent to -18°C.  Just to be clear, that is colder than your average freezer ha?!  Kaloka.  Btw, this is me, coming in from the cold.  (As in kararating ko lang, and I thought I’d let B take a picture of how I looked really funny bundled up.  Having seen the pic, di rin pala ako naiiba sa mga kasabay kong madlang people.)

So anyway, just to break it all down, I was wearing my long johns underneath those jeans, a long-sleeved knit blouse (for the office), a fleece sweater on top of that, and over it all, the black, quilted down jacket you’re looking at.  The thick wool scarf is wrapped twice around my neck so I will not feel the wind chill and the beanie, nearly over my eyes.  Inside the heavy, uncomfortable snow boots (I swear, if we’re going to stay here in Chicago for a while, I’d go out now and get me a decent pair of Uggs), are thick wool socks.  Di pa todo yan, kasi I had my cellulites to help me out.  Some people actually wear two sets of long johns under 2 sets of pants, and 4 layers of shirts/sweaters underneath a down jacket.  

Ang tindi that night.  Grabe.  The wind literally stings!  Waiting for the train felt like ages pa, dahil kahit yung warming lamps eh di kinaya yung lamig.  By the time the train arrived, I swear I could feel like my thighs are frozen solid.  Had to rub them back to life when I sat down dahil ang sakit!

When I finally got home, and was able to go into and out of the shower, I broke out in rashes naman!  Anyway, chalking it up to a winter itch of some sort, I just slathered the areas with lotion and slept it all off.  Tindi.  When the meteorologists forecasted sometime last year that this was shaping up to be the harshest winter, di ko pinansin eh.  Who knew tama pala ang mga bugok???!!

I swear, next time sasabak ako ng ganyang winter, either may kotse na ako, or magta-taxi ako.  People shouldn’t be out in that kind of weather!

NCIS Addict

Malala na ‘to. Pag walang nare-record na NCIS episode sa dvr, masama na ako. On one such occasion, naghanap talaga ako online ng pwedeng mapagpanooran ng full episodes from earlier seasons. Wouldyabilib, meron??!?? Thank God for the internet!

Kelan lang naman ‘to nagsimula. Kung kelan nagsihinto na for the winter holidays ang broadcast nung mga shows na sinusubaybayan ko – The Mentalist, Supernatural, Bones, (at paminsan) Criminal Minds. Although panood-nood na rin ako ng NCIS dati, parang ika nga sa pagkain eh, pantawid gutom lang siya. Pero one time, nakapanood ako ng magkasunud-sunod ata na episode yun. Hala, hinanap-hanap ko na! Sa wakas, may bago akong kinaadikan na show! Nakakasawa rin pala Friends at Sex and the City reruns .

Iba tong show na ‘to eh. Maganda ang group dynamics nila; ayos din ang chemistry onscreen. Di siya kasing heavy drama ng CSI lineup, pero forensics din siya. Sure may dramang konti pero balanse with ka-kwelahan. Above all, may central figure na mala-paternal at mala-leader ang dating – kinda like CSI Miami’s Horatio Caine but with less sunglass-twirling and more gravitas (with a hint of a smile). At for my money, etong cast nila ngayon ang the best so far; mas gusto ko si ass-kicking Ziva kesa kay prudish Caitlin, si Director Vance kesa kay Director Shepherd (Lauren Holly), si McGee (kasi dati pa-singit singit lang siya), at si Jimmy Palmer (kasi dati, seryosong character ang assistant ni Ducky).

At one point, kala ko maka-cancel na sila eh – pero turns out, the ratings have gone nowhere but up – as in every season angat ng angat ang rankings nila. Yey! Means more NCIS!!!

Oki tama na. Nako-cornyhan na ako masyado sa sarili ko. Mag-blog ba tungkol lang sa isang show??!!

Deals and Chills

So despite the gloomy skies (but strangely warmer temps – 42°F), we ventured out in the hopes of snagging a few deals on what was purported to be the second Black Friday of the year, but it was cut short.

Our first stop was Filene’s along the Mag Mile because I was looking for a long wool coat to wear to the office. Thank God for the 40% discount, I was able to afford a Via Spiga. If I didn’t have to wear office clothes, I swear, I would’ve been forever a happy bunny with my jeans and cotton tops. I also got a sweater-knit pair of tights to wear under my trousers for those sub-zero days. If they hold out okay, I will buy a few more; one will do for now (even if they were only $6 a pair).

Next stop was H&M, which was a huge disappointment since the discounts are not that huge and the stocks look like they were summer’s rejects (Uh, hello?! I’m looking for winter office clothes here!); and that’s when I got a call from B saying he’s going outside because he seems to be hyperventilating. I know it can be quite suffocating inside stores during winter but this is the first time I heard him experience this. Having told me to hurry up a bit, I headed to the fitting room, discarded most of my choices except for a black long-sleeved shirt and a thick wool scarf, I headed for the counter. When I came out I saw him about to head in and he was looking agitated. “Uwi na tayo, di ko na kaya.”

Shock-boogie ang lola niyo! I led him to the bus stop and all the while, he could barely keep his eyes open and head upright. So while it would normally cost each of us $2 to take the train or almost $2.50 if you take a bus and transfer to the train, I threw caution (or more precisely, $25) to the wind and hailed a cab. B slept fitfully all the way home, and climbed onto the bed and under the covers as soon as we arrived.

I took his blood sugar – level was normal. Felt his neck and forehead – cool. Suspecting that this was the same thing I had a few weeks ago, I force fed him a tablet of Biogesic. He’s now sleeping soundly while I write this blog.

Similarly, a couple of weeks ago or so, we went to the market on a particularly windy day. It’s not quite 20°F mind you, but it was cold enough to freeze my cellulite – and the wind howling like mad, further nudged the mercury down more than 10 degrees. (Way colder than today, for sure.) When we got home, I felt really, really drowsy and slightly nauseated, so I crept beneath the covers and napped. I was shivering like crazy after a few minutes so B put another heavy wool blanket on top of the one I already have. He gave me a caplet of Bioflu and I fell asleep soon after. B said I dozed for about 3 hours, and I must have, for I felt a little better when I woke up. I wondered then if that was some sort of mild hypothermia or something. Anyways, I didn’t dwell on it much… until now.

If not for the overly harsh winters, I really love this city…

Amex Gold

“You’ve been Selected”

Back in the day baka matuwa pa ako sa offer ng Amex, tapos Gold card pa yung ino-offer nila??  Sa Pilipinas kasi may required annual income bago ka i-consider. Kaso alam ko na ang siste eh. Saka sandamukal na credit card offers pala matatanggap mo dito kung maganda credit score mo  -  our shredder can attest to that.  

Heniweys, hintayin ko na lang yung offer na Amex Platinum… ibang usapan pa yun… sure I need to pay in full the total charges every month, but the perks are quite good!  Lalo na siguro kung Centurion card no?!

Ah credit cards… you used to be the bane of my existence.  Now, couldn’t care less.  Give me one good card and I’m set!

Winter Wonder-freakin-land

Imagine wearing office clothes for the first time after three years…

Now, imagine wearing heels, for the first time after three years… and walking in 30-degree Fahrenheit weather with wet snow being pelted at you by the wind coming from all directions – yep, wherever you face, you’re gonna be hit in the face – and wet snow accumulating by the inch.

Something tells me I’m gonna hate going to work during winter… and to think, that’s not the worst of it…

I hate snow.

One Word Tag

Tagged by LT: 

1. Where is your cell phone?  SIDE-TABLE


2. Your significant other?  B

3. Your hair?  SHORT


4. Your mother?  PETITE


5. Your father?  JERK


6. Your favorite thing?  GADGETS    


7. Your dream last night?  SIMONBAKER (ipagpilitan bang one word?)


8. Your favorite drink?  TAZO (iced green tea)


9. Your dream/goal?  COMFORT/STABILITY  


10. The room you’re in?  MAIN


11. Your hobby?  READING (too!)


12. Your fear?  DEATH (untimely)


13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?  WORKING


14.  What you’re not?  SKINNY


15. Muffins?  CORN


16. One of your wish list items?  LASERVUE


17. Where you grew up?  LAGUNA


18. The last thing you did?  BATHED


19. What are you wearing?  JAMMIES


20. Favorite gadget?  iPHONE


21. Your pets?  NONE


22. Your computer?  MACBOOK


23. Your mood?  PISSED


24. Missing someone?  BROTHER


25. Your car?  NONE


26. Something you’re not wearing?  EYEGLASSES 

27. Favorite store?  BEST BUY


28. Like someone?  SIMONBAKER (Huge crush!!!)  


29. Your favorite color?  BLACK


30. When was the last time you laughed?  MINUTES (AGO) 

31. Last time you cried?  ELECTIONS 

Tagged: you my dear reader

My Birthday Gift

It was fifteen years ago today, when lying in bed at night after celebrating my “debut”, I closed my eyes in prayer and asked in despair if God could please let me finally meet my soulmate. I don’t care to recount my past but suffice it to say that I wasn’t happy growing up, and for most of my high school and early college years, romantic fiction has been an effective form of escapism for me.

Hence the prayer. I thought, maybe this someone will lift the sort of fugue I’ve been under and give me a sense of purpose, and happiness. Then just before the year was up, God finally relented, and gave me B.

Ah B… I’ve been married to him for 12 years now – together for 14 – and still, there’s nobody else I’d rather hang out with, be goofy with, live life with and love, with all my heart; he truly is my bestfriend and soulmate.  He keeps it real, always keeps me grounded, and never seems to tire of my company too (Well, he just told me so I know now ).

I met B while I was still an undergrad – towards the last months of my sophomore year, if I remember correctly.  Liked what I saw immediately; I’ve always liked tall, dark guys with nice big eyes.  I then set out asking my friends about him, as most of my friends in college went to high school with him.  Yet no one can seem to describe him exactly.  I guess, even then, he’s always been a private person; mostly keeps to himself.  So as planned, word reached him that poor old moi has a huge crush on him so he sought me out.  I saw no point in being coy so after two days, we went steady – we were in our 3rd year in college.  During that time, I went through some significant firsts with him – he was my first kiss, my first luvah, and my first boyfriend.  I had no qualms about putting out because I felt he genuinely cared for me.  Sometimes, he would take me home, all the way to Laguna (from Manila), and then leave as soon as he saw me enter our gate.  Then he’d go home to Pasay.  Even then, maasikaso na siya. Anyway, this dreamy period went on for months and nobody at home was the wiser… Because we’re “illegal” (as we’d put it then)

I wasn’t allowed to have suitors or boyfriends until after I finished college.  So when my Ma found out, she went ballistic, basically chewed my head off and wouldn’t speak to me for weeks!  Of course, being a stupid teenager, I was determined not to break up with B, so I ran away and lived with my older cousins.  They tolerated the relationship but drew the line at me staying out late or going out with him on dates; they’d rather he come visit me at home, where they can at least keep an eye on me.  So this went on for a time until I got pregnant.  How in the world did that happen, right?  Well, I’d cut classes of course!  Or basically, just leave home early to go to “class”.  My cousins’ apartment was in Quezon City, and “class” was a bit past the UP Manila campus; in Pasay, where B lives.

So skipping several dramatic scenes – involving my revelation of my expectant state; B having to leave for the US with his father; then B coming back to finish his interrupted studies – I went to live with B at his family’s house. It was a bit of a struggle at first but we managed to scrape by with a lot of help from my cool father-in-law (may he rest in peace), B’s very responsible, eldest sister, and B’s earnings whilst he was in the US. 

We got married in the middle of my last trimester of pregnancy, and by then, Mama and I were talking of course, she even rounded up some of her colleagues to be godparents during our civil wedding.  It was a very hurried affair, but we’re glad we got it out of the way because for the nth time, my partido didn’t even want me to get me married – just because I was stupid and got myself knocked up, doesn’t mean I have to compound the quandary I am in by getting married, right?  Wrong.  Not for B it ain’t!  He put his foot down and said we were going to get married and that’s it.  So we did.

Sophia died soon after and it was gut-wrenching to see him so devastated.  I was still numb from the ordeal of induced labor and being in pain ‘down there’, but he soldiered on and took care of me.  He’d give me baths and get me dressed and he’d go on with his day, while I lay in bed.  We got through that, thank God, but it was due in no small part to his sheer force of will, patience, and considerable fortitude. 

It took us two years, to fall in love with each other in the fullest sense of the word, (I do not believe in love at first sight, so there’s no point in telling me that that’s what happened at the start) and by that time, I have seen every facet of his personality, recognized all his weaknesses, respected his individuality and admired his erudite mind.  Of course, as is common with two individuals living together, there’s the inevitable clash of personalities, habits, values, and eccentricities.  So we went through our share of gynormous fights and silly squabbles, still, at the end of the day, we managed to compromise and make up.  We never go to bed angry, as a rule, and that helped us weather a lot of “glitches” in life.  But most of all, we talk… about anything and everything… even up to the wee hours of the morning.  I’m sure anyone can tell you that’s a surefire way to get to know someone.  

With regards to the opposite sex, and the numerous temptations flitting around in barely-there tops (asus, ang dami dito, lalo na pag summer!), I am insecure as hell, but I never let that ruin a perfectly good “people-watching” session.  He gawks, and I do too!  Sometimes we agree on an “assessment” (like, if she’s pretty and has a nice rack, she’s a 10), and sometimes I diss him on his taste… and vice versa, with guys, he lets me gawk as much as I can.  

So. It’s been several years.  The fights have lessened considerably to around 1 per year at most, and arguments have simmered down to just 2-minute spats… if that.  We’ve matured together (well him, more than me ) and I’ve discovered I’m willing to take a back seat to B’s career and just tailor mine to suit his.  I realized too that I’d follow him to the ends of the earth (which is an erroneous statement since the earth is spherical), and that might be cliché, but who cares?  Hence, there wasn’t any hesitation on my part, to uproot, when he finally decided to stay in the US for awhile. 

Today, as I celebrate another year of life, I’m not expecting any gift/s from him. I am currently enforcing a no-gifts-to-each-other-for birthdays-and-christmases-until-we-both-have-jobs policy (and hopefully, that will only be in effect for a few months more). Yet for some reason, my mind wandered back to 15 years ago, and I remembered that I already got what I wanted for all my birthdays.

I pray every day that my “gift” continue to be mine until our old age… and death. I pray to God that He keep my “gift” safe whenever he travels to and from school or out of state. But mostly, I just want to thank Him for listening to a sad, confused 18-year old on the night of her birthday and giving her exactly what she asked for — the perfect “gift”.